The Colonoscopy

After two years of procrastinating and dreading the procedure, I finally got sick of my doctor nagging me about it and had it done yesterday. An you know what? It just wasn’t that bad at all.

The actual procedure took about ten minutes. I was awake, under mild sedation, and I barely felt anything. They removed four 1-2mm polyps that they didn’t seem particularly concerned about. And that was it, I was on the way home a half hour later.

As for the preparation, that wasn’t that bad either. Yeah, you have to drink a gallon of salty liquid, over two sittings, that causes diarrhea, so you need to stay near the bathroom. The liquid didn’t taste particularly bad and I didn’t experience any nausea, cramping, or bloating. If you follow the diet instructions they give you, you shouldn’t have any problems. Frankly, the worst part of the preparation was not being able to eat anything for over a day.

The bottom line is that a colonoscopy is not scary, painful, or something to be overly anxious about and having it done is infinitely better than the possibility of unnecessarily dying of colon cancer.

/so, if you’re over 50 and still putting it off, you’re out of excuses, get it done, you’ll sleep better at night knowing

We Have Crossed Some Strange Boundary Here

Welcome to the CBS Cares Colonoscopy Sweepstakes!

This is an actual sweepstakes and, if you are the grand prize winner, we will fly you and a companion to New York where you will receive a free colonoscopy. You will also be given three nights’ accommodation in a suite at the luxurious Loews Regency Hotel, which will include the night before you are “awarded” the colonoscopy.

What should you expect if you are the lucky winner?

The hardest part is the preparation the night before when you drink a laxative. This laxative is well known for declaring itself at the very moment you have called a relative or friend (or room service) to comment that it does not seem to be working. But hang in, because it’s important to have a clear colon for the screening and the fun part is about to begin —

The colonoscopy at the Center for Specialty Care will be done by Dr. Paul Miskovitz — a leading gastro-enterologist in New York City and expert on colorectal cancer. When the colonoscopy is about to begin, you’ll be given drugs which will make you feel like you’re at Woodstock… only without the music. If you start to believe that you actually are at Woodstock (for example, Dr. Miskovitz starts to look like Jimi Hendrix or you feel inclined to say “far out!” in response to questions), please report the side effect to Dr. Miskovitz or Jimi Hendrix (whomever you see first) immediately.

Wasn’t Katie Couric enough?

/you know, everyone over 50 should have one but this is just beyond bizarre