Win Or Die

It sucks to be a North Korean soccer coach or player. Hell, it sucks to be a North Korean period.

Failed N Korean World Cup coach fears for life

Kim Jong-hun might well be envious of Dunga and Maradona, the two South American coaches sacked for their teams’ “poor” performance in the recent FIFA world cup. Kim, the North Korean coach, has not just been sacked, he has suffered public humiliation and been made to work unpaid as a construction worker. News leaks from Pyongyang further say that Kim fears he might soon be executed.

According to unconfirmed reports, the entire North Korean squad, which lost all three of its World Cup games in South Africa, has been subjected to a humiliating dressing-down in public.

The hapless players spent six hours being lectured in public, on their failure and ‘betrayal’ of Kim Jong-un, son and heir of the great leader Kim Jong-il.

They were subjected to a session of harsh ideological criticism, a Chinese businessman told the South Korean media.

Under coercion, every player blamed the defeat on the coach who has reportedly been expelled from the governing Workers Party.

North Korea’s success in qualifying for the Cup had prompted the Party to organize countrywide celebratory lectures in recognition of Kim Jong-un’s accomplishment.

Ever since the team crashed out, experts on the hermit state have speculated that the players would surely be punished.

See also:
North Korea’s failed World Cup footballers undergo public mauling
North Korea soccer coach fears for his life
North Korean football team shamed in six-hour public inquiry over World Cup
North Korean soccer team forced into six-hour long public inquisition after losing at World Cup
North Korean Soccer Team Publicly Shamed For World Cup Failure
North Korean Soccer Team Punished for World Cup Failure
Sacked NKorean soccer coach fears for life
North Korea Soccer Team Reprimanded After World Cup, Radio Free Asia Says
North Korea’s World Cup Team Faces Government Wrath After World Cup Defeat
North Korean Soccer Coach Put Into Labor Camp After Disappointing World Cup
There Is No Joy in Pyongyang …
Welcome to the party, North Korean soccer team
Korea DPR national football team

Every day, more children are born in North Korea, facing a bleak, totalitarian future with no possible escape. Personally, I just can’t help but feel sorry for every last one of them.

/you know, ending the Korean War, once and for all, would eventually be viewed as the greatest humanitarian gesture in modern history

Advertisements

The Curious Case Of Gary Brooks Faulkner

What’s the deal with this guy? There just has to be more to the story here.

U.S. Man Arrested for ‘Hunting’ Bin Laden

An American construction worker who was arrested with a 40-inch sword, a pistol and night-vision goggles in northwestern Pakistan told investigators Tuesday that he wanted to kill Osama bin Laden to avenge the 2001 terrorist attacks on the U.S.

Gary Brooks Faulkner, 50 years old, of Greeley, Colo., was caught by Pakistani police Monday in the remote Bumburat Valley near the border of Afghanistan’s Nuristan province, where he apparently hoped to find Mr. bin Laden.

Police quoted Mr. Faulkner as saying he wanted to avenge the victims of the attacks on New York and Washington. He was carrying Christian religious books, according to Mumtaz Ahmed Khan, a senior police officer in the northwestern town of Chitral.

Mr. Faulkner arrived in Chitral on June 3 and stayed in a hotel in Bumburat Valley, an area famous for its spring dancing festival, which attracts large number of foreign visitors every year.

At a news conference near the Colorado statehouse in Denver, Mr. Faulkner’s younger brother, Scott Faulkner, a physician, described Gary as “a man on a mission.”

“He’s not crazy,” Dr. Faulkner said of his brother. “He’s not a psychopath. He’s not a sociopath.”

. . .

After the 9/11 attacks, he said Mr. Faulkner began visiting Pakistan to try to find Osama bin Laden because he felt the U.S. military was not “doing enough.” Dr. Faulkner said his brother grew a beard and adopted local attire to assimilate in Pakistan and obtain intelligence there.

“Who says, ‘Why do I rob banks? Because that’s where the money is,'” Dr. Faulkner asked. He said his brother went to Pakistan because “that’s where Osama is.”

The current trip was roughly Mr. Faulkner’s sixth to Pakistan since 2002, Dr. Faulkner said. The physician said he drove his brother to the airport, and that Mr. Faulkner wasn’t carrying any weapons when he boarded the plane. “He did not have a sword, although that is his weapon of choice in Pakistan,” said Dr. Faulkner, who said he thought his brother obtained the sword in Pakistan.

Dr. Faulkner said his brother also brought wire ties to use as handcuffs on Mr. bin Laden. He said that if Mr. Faulkner, who must undergo dialysis three times a week, killed or captured Mr. bin Laden, he planned to use his reward money to retire to Nicaragua, where he would help locals build houses.

See also:
Pakistan holds American man hunting bin Laden
US officials meet with American hunting bin Laden
Pakistan: US bin Laden hunter on mission from God
Gary Brooks Faulkner: Was ‘American ninja’ working for CIA?
‘Rambo’: Osama hunt my holy war
Gary Brooks Faulkner examined by doctor in Pakistan, say Bin Laden hunter has psychological problems
Details Emerge On Would-Be Bin Laden Assassin, Gary Brooks Faulkner
What was Gary Brooks Faulkner reading?

You know, if you’re an lone American wandering around the lawless Afghanistan-Pakistan border, carrying a sword and Christian reading materials is a nice touch. One thing’s for sure, he was in the right ballpark for bin Laden hunting and $25 million in bounty is a lot of money. As they say, truth is stranger than fiction.

/is Faulkner crazy or crazy like a fox?