We Have Crossed Some Strange Boundary Here

Welcome to the CBS Cares Colonoscopy Sweepstakes!

This is an actual sweepstakes and, if you are the grand prize winner, we will fly you and a companion to New York where you will receive a free colonoscopy. You will also be given three nights’ accommodation in a suite at the luxurious Loews Regency Hotel, which will include the night before you are “awarded” the colonoscopy.

What should you expect if you are the lucky winner?

The hardest part is the preparation the night before when you drink a laxative. This laxative is well known for declaring itself at the very moment you have called a relative or friend (or room service) to comment that it does not seem to be working. But hang in, because it’s important to have a clear colon for the screening and the fun part is about to begin —

The colonoscopy at the Center for Specialty Care will be done by Dr. Paul Miskovitz — a leading gastro-enterologist in New York City and expert on colorectal cancer. When the colonoscopy is about to begin, you’ll be given drugs which will make you feel like you’re at Woodstock… only without the music. If you start to believe that you actually are at Woodstock (for example, Dr. Miskovitz starts to look like Jimi Hendrix or you feel inclined to say “far out!” in response to questions), please report the side effect to Dr. Miskovitz or Jimi Hendrix (whomever you see first) immediately.

Wasn’t Katie Couric enough?

/you know, everyone over 50 should have one but this is just beyond bizarre