The Other Other Dark Meat

Seriously, who could possibly come up with the sudden inspiration for this and think it was a good idea in the first place? And who in their right mind would volunteer to taste test it? Sniff, sniff, what’s that smell?

Japan scientist synthesizes meat from human feces

Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, has developed steaks based on proteins from human excrement. Tokyo Sewage approached the scientist because of an overabundance of sewage mud. They asked him to explore the possible uses of the sewage and Ikeda found that the mud contained a great deal of protein because of all the bacteria.

The researchers then extracted those proteins, combined them with a reaction enhancer and put it in an exploder which created the artificial steak. The “meat” is 63% proteins, 25% carbohydrates, 3% lipids and 9% minerals. The researchers color the poop meat red with food coloring and enhance the flavor with soy protein. Initial tests have people saying it even tastes like beef.

See also:
‘Poop burger tastes like beef’
Japanese Make “Delicious”, Nourishing Steaks From Human Feces
Japanese scientist creates ‘poop burger’? Surely not
Artificial Meat Made From Human Poop
Human feces: The meat of the future?
Japanese scientist wants you eat reconstituted poop burgers
Meat Made from Poop Hits Japan
Japanese Environmentalist Turns Human Waste into Hamburger
Mitsuyuki Ikeda Wants You to Eat His Burger Patties Made from Human Waste
Burgers made of excrement? (We’re not kidding)

Now you might ask yourself, is this [expletive deleted] for real? I don’t know, I just report, you have to decide.

/I, for one, pray to God it’s a hoax

Poopgate, The Cover Up Is Always Worse Than The Crime

Did the First Dog Leave a Number Two on Air Force One?

The mystery begins in a Pittsburgh bar where several high-flying airline types met last month.

The group swapped stories over drinks when three people present let loose with a good tale. Bo, the presidential puppy, recently left a present on the presidential jet, they said, and a flight attendant had nearly stepped in it.

“You can imagine the horror on board when they discovered what it had done,” a participant in the conversation said, referring to Bo.

Reports of other puppy-like behavior support the story. At least two reporters spotted Bo running loose aboard Air Force One this summer. News stories say he chews socks, magazines and the presidential sneakers. In an NBC television interview around the time of the alleged accident, President Barack Obama said Bo has chosen notable venues in the past.

“We go out and we’re walking and I’m picking up poop, and in the background is the beautifully lit White House,” the president said. “It’s quite a moment.”

A White House press official was certain—the scoop on the poop was a crock. The press office checked with the Air Force One flight crew who said Bo had not desecrated the jet.

. . .

But we were nagged by a question—was the pile denial a White House cover up?

The source of the story refused to recant. A press officer for the 89th Airlift Wing, which includes Air Force One, had no comment. A government airline carpet contractor didn’t return calls.

Then a new source emerged: Herb McConnell, former public affairs officer for Andrews Air Force Base, home of Air Force One. McConnell thought the story was “funny,” “logical,” and “not as bad as some I’ve heard.”

According to McConnell, he checked with two contacts in the 89th Airlift Wing. Both separately confirmed Bo’s youthful indiscretion, although neither of them would speak directly with Washington Wire.

“Of course the dog accident on Air Force One happened,” McConnell contends. But the 89th won’t go public with it, he said, because it is strict Air Force policy not to discuss passengers’ activities.

The White House stands by its denial. And Bo isn’t talking.

See also:
A No. 2 on Air Force One? Oh noes Bo!
Everybody Poops: White House Denies Bo’s Mile-High Mistake
Bo Obama: Number Two On Air Force

Oh sure, blame the dog. If it was a simple puppy “poop accident”, why is the White House stonewalling?

/you know, it’s not like there weren’t plenty of other potential suspects on the plane at the time